Book Review – Attaching in Adoption

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's ParentsAttaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents by Deborah D. Gray

My rating:  (5 / 5)

I’ve read so many adoption books in the last couple of years that they are starting to run together in some respects. They often give the same advice, in different words, and to that degree, this book is not much different from others I have read. And yet, it kept my attention riveted much more so than most of the others.

The reason? Well, I suspect that it’s the real-life vignettes that pepper every chapter. It’s difficult to imagine, before you are even in these situations, what it might really be like to face the challenges that professionals outline. However, when you’re reading the stories of real parents and real children, it hits home in a different way than a list of possible problems and therapies does.

Attaching in Adoption gives a clear, concise outline as to what issues children may face, the different stages of attachment and how children react when attachment bonds are lost during each stage, and how to attach to children in any of those stages, including those who are having attachment difficulties. Some problems are of course exacerbated by additional problems, such as delays in development and/or affects from neglect, abuse and more, and this book also covers those issues, as well as the scary buzzword that throws fear into the hearts of all adoption-hopeful parents, “RAD.”

This book was interesting, but I’m afraid I didn’t retain as much of the information as I should have. I’m going to read it again once our kids are home, to hopefully absorb the information most pertinent to them in a more thorough manner. Going in and not knowing what issues we’re going to face makes it all very overwhelming, but I appreciate that this author sees no situation as “hopeless” and gives practical methods to overcome all attachment obstacles.

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